Bed-sharing: Why it works for us.

First off, I feel that every woman and family should be able to do what works for them without being judged by others (as long as it isn't a form of abuse).  I feel the same way about birth and most things in life.

That being said, bed-sharing works for my family.  Before I was a mom, I said that I would not say that I would never do something.  I had the philosophy that I would just go with the flow and do what works for my baby, my husband, and me. 

I had secretly always wanted to bedshare.  However, when we got home from the hospital, Genevieve slept better in her pack n play next to our bed.  I was disappointed mainly because it was a few weeks before I could actually sit up or get out of bed.  It would have been so much easier to have her in bed next to me, especially in the beginning when she was up every hour and a half to eat.

Starting at around 6 weeks, her sleeping at night became very difficult.  She would wake up 5 minutes after being put down.  We finally decided to bring her in bed with us.  All 3 of us slept so much better!  She would typically give me a 6-7 hour stretch each night of sleep.  That is amazing for a breastfed baby!  Since she was in bed with me, I could tell she was about to wake up before she actually did.  This allowed me to easily feed her and both of us would fall right back to sleep.

Another reason this was fantastic is that my husband was working overnight shifts as a sleep lab technician.  Needless to say, I was exhausted.  When he was home during the day, he was sleeping and I needed to keep G quiet.  I was on my own for nighttime.  Bedsharing saved my sanity and allowed me to sleep.

I am sure some people think I am spoiling her and that this is a habit I will have to break.  I disagree.  Studies show that just like breastfeeding, babies will wean themselves when they are ready.

I want her to know that sleeping is a safe thing and isn't scary.  Perhaps this desire stems from my experience as a child.  I was absolutely terrified of the night and going to sleep.  I used to sleep with a lamp on until my Grandmother told me that if someone were to break in to our house, they would head straight to my room since that is where the light was.  Yeah, then I started laying there in the dark terrified of being robbed, or worse.  It was not fun.  I still suffer from awful nightmares every single night.  They are quite horrific and I tend to remember them all.  Most of my nightmares scare the living daylights out of my husband when I share them with him.

I digress...another reason I am okay with bedsharing is that it just feels natural.  G sleeps right up against me with her head in my armpit.  She sleeps on her back and doesn't thrash around or move.  I also don't move when she is next to me.  She spent 9 months in the womb where she listened to my heart 24/7.  I think it is comforting for her to be with me still.

If you bedshare, there are some safety things you should be aware of:
1) Never ever bedshare if either you or your husband have been drinking, doing drugs, or take medication that affects your sleep.  It is dangerous.
2) Keep covers and sheets to a minimum.  Covers should not go above your waist.
3) Keep pillows away from the baby.
4) If possible, put your bed against a wall.  This isn't possible for us.